The Sunday after Labor Day in 2011 an accident happened that changed my life. My first impulse, as soon as I was mobile enough to get in front of a computer, was to write down everything I remembered. But larger questions loomed. Why did it happen? Could it have been prevented? Could I have done anything differently?
Eventually, many years later I re-visited the subject again and after dozens of revisions over a two-year period, I penned an essay, “The Horseback Riding Accident” just published in Spry Literary journal.
The subject matter wasn’t easy. For the first several years after it happened whenever I’d encounter a person in a back brace or wearing a major cast, I’d wince. Just the vision of their handicap, would bring it all back to me, the pain I’d prefer to forget.
Then, during the pandemic, after I’d finished my MFA at the Stonecoast Creative Writing program, University of Southern Maine, I was taking an online workshop with one of my former mentors, Susan Conley, and the writing prompt related to asking someone close to you for forgiveness and I thought of horseback riding and what had happened.
One of the thoughts that popped into my mind was the guilt I knew my husband felt for encouraging me to take up horseback riding and my own misgivings for not spending enough time with him when I became consumed with my job as a magazine editor.
This odd start, was the beginning of my writing about my fall from a horse as well as my “fall” from a lot of past practices in my life. I fell, yes. But after months of recovery, PT and exercise, I reevaluated what was important, and the trajectory of my life changed. Eventually I decided I didn’t want to focus on writing words aimed at selling things, stories that focused on consumer goods, lifestyle, looking beautiful and getting noticed. Writing is an art and that’s how I wanted to treat my writing life.
The essay, however, is about a relationship and the promises we make to ourselves and to each other. Before the accident, our family dog had died and I was mourning her loss. After the accident I lost my job and felt bad as to how I was treated. These things weighed heavy on me, but eventually I needed to pull them out of the narrative in order to focus on the core events. As I revised, I elected to break the narrative into smaller sections, to add more intensity. Things happened quickly and the fast pacing conveys the impact of the accident. Read it all here and thank you for your support. Follow me on WordPress or Medium and access more of my work at Nadjamaril.com.
Nadja Maril, Writer & Author 