Horseback Riding Anyone?

“How is the horse?” or “Did you shoot the horse?” have been some of the inquisitive remarks tossed my way when people learn that I broke my back in an equestrian accident. “Are you planning on continuing riding?”
I remember going to the salvage yard to retrieve a few items out of my car that had been declared totaled in 1988. It was traumatic to look at the manner in which the front end had been crunched and the blood on the back seat where my son had hit his head. For the next several years, every time I drove somewhere I was uneasy at intersections, waiting for a car to come careening through a red light. It had happened. It could happen again. Fear fades. It doesn’t completely leave.
I have not gone back to the stables to visit the horse. In my imagination I bring him carrots or an apple and my eyes start to well up with tears. I don’t know if I will ever be able to go horseback riding. First, there is the physical aspect of making certain that my body is completely healed enough to be able to mount and dismount, and then there is the fear factor. I know when you fall off a bike, it’s important to get back on and ride again. So with that thought in my mind, I hope I will eventually get back on a horse, although it may not be the horse I was practicing riding on before, if only for a few moments to walk around the riding ring and conquer my fear and bring closure to a shattering event in my life. But as far as continuing weekly hour-long riding lessons, no I am done. I’m looking for a new recreational sport.